Living Life to the Fullest

According to the Metro, the following are the top 50 ways to live life to the full. I’ve appended my comments about whether I’m doing so, intend to do so or there is no chance it will ever happen next to them all. At the end, I’ll calculate how fully I’m living life at the moment.

1.       Stop worrying about money: When I first moved to London, money was really tight. I remember a spell in which I had to live off £30, for food, toiletries and transport, weekly. I shopped in the cheapest places and successfully managed my budget. Even then, I didn’t worry about money.

2.       Stop worrying about what other people think: I was a very sensitive child, eager to please my family and people around me. One day I realised that letting what people thought affect me made my life stressful so I decided I needed to stop thinking. Obviously to a certain extent I care about the input of some people but generally I’d say I don’t give a flying rat’s arse what people think.

3.       Take two holidays a year: So far this year I’ve been to Ireland, Nigeria, Palestine, the Isle of Wight festival and Cumbria. I also have Barcelona, Paris, Amsterdam, Ottawa, New York city and Nigeria (again) to go. I take a lot of holidays because I love travel.

4.       Enjoy the little comforts: I always tell people I’m pretty simple. Give me a sofa, an iPhone, some books, some films, a bit of travel and mates to do stuff with and I’m pretty happy.

5.       Work to live rather than live to work: Well anyone who knows anything about me knows I don’t give a shit about work generally. My line manager was aghast that I put “work only between 9 and 6” down as one of my objectives. I wasn’t kidding.

6.       Experience different cultures: Not only do I travel loads but I love to make friends from different nationalities so I get a lot of different cultures

7.       Pay off all debts: This one is a little bit tricky. I’m going to become a student for the next 4 years so reckon that I might build my debt instead of paying it off but I try to keep reasonable levels of debt. I’ll put this on my bucket-list for when I turn 35.

8.       Be true to yourself: I might be a little too much myself. When I was younger, I’d say till about 25 or so, I used to have different personas with different people and try to fit in with their expectations of me. These days I am super clear about who I am and try to stick to my principles as much as possible

9.       Concentrate on what you have instead of what you don’t have: Drummed into my head as a kid and still a principle that I live by

10.    Use money for fun rather than a rainy day: My savings are practically non-existent. I have no rainy day fund

11.    Make time for family and friends: I love my friends and family and always make time for them. My ideas of how much time needs to be made might not be as much as they want (my mum definitely wants to hang out a bit more than I wind up doing) but I sometimes sacrifice family time in favour of friends time because I kind of think family will always be there whereas friends are more transient.

12.    Try all types of food: As a food lover and wannabe foodie I’m always open to trying new cuisines. I have previously been less enthusiastic about things that I used to hate as a child (all cooked vegetables, honey, porridge) and tend to be put off foods with these elements included. I’ve recently discovered that I actually like a couple of things I used to hate (mushrooms, honey) and even tried being vegetarian for a few weeks so now I’m a bit more adventurous with all foods.

13.    Find true love: I think I’ve found true love and if I’m somehow wrong, I’m constantly looking for it.

14.    Travel to at least 25 foreign countries: So far I’ve been to 15 countries and have another 7 on my radar to get to over the next couple of years. I reckon I will soon hit this target, certainly before I turn 35.

15.    Go outside more: I spend as much time as I can outdoors. Living in England, this is not always possible but this year, I’ve even learnt to brave the rain. I’m cycling, hiking, walking, running, playing football, sitting in beer gardens and going to the park. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I’m spending at least 30% of my non-work time outdoors which is a lot if you consider how much time is spent sleeping!

16.    Learn a new language: I’ve purportedly been learning Italian for a couple of years now but this year I put it on my pre-30^th bucket-list so I’m well keen on conducting basic decent conversation in it and being able to read a little within the next 6 weeks. Was a bit bummed I couldn’t find my audio files over last weekend but I’ve ordered a few children’s books and these should make up for my loss.

17.    Be well thought of by family or friends: Well obviously I think I’m well thought of by my family and other than the odd disappointment with my lifestyle or life choices I have been told as much by my parents and siblings. My friends like me. That’s what they say at least.

18.    Help your family when they are in need: I help my family all the time. My brothers and sister get financial support from me when necessary and my cousins have stayed over when they needed a place to stay. Nigerians are like this. We all help family when necessary.

19.    Lose 1 stone in weight: Since June I think I’ve lost 2

20.    Treat each day like it’s your last: I don’t save. I have a fear of missing out that means I have a seriously hectic schedule. I don’t like to book stuff in advance. I like to leave people in no doubt of how I feel about them. However I procrastinate quite a bit. I’m working on this.

21.    Visit all Britain’s historical landmarks: This will take forever to do. It’s on the list

22.    Book an impulsive last minute holiday: I would like to know what last minute here means as I usually leave my holiday booking till as late as possible and all it takes for me to go on holiday is for someone to ask. I think I went to Milan the first time with about 2 weeks’ notice. I’m convinced that one day I will rock up to an airport and pick a destination with no advance planning.

23.    Volunteer for a charity: I have charity days at work and I’ve used them on a couple of occasions. I’ve also worked for Oxfam albeit unofficially

24.    Take up a challenge: This year has been a year of challenges. I wrote myself a bucket-list and have been working my way through them. Highlights so far include running a 10k, cycling to work, going vegetarian for a couple of weeks, learning to rollerblade and losing 2 stone

25.    Go on safari: I wonder if this includes a UK safari. I hear there’s something in England of the sort. The big Kenya or Tanzania safari is on the list. Maybe that should go on my pre-35^th bucket-list

26.    Blow money shopping: I went to Debenhams and spent over £500 on clothes once. That’s a lot for me seeing as I like to keep my clothes usually between £10 and 30.

27.    Learn a new instrument: Again, this is something on my bucket-list. I’ve had an acoustic guitar I acquired from my brother for years and never managed to fit in the time to play. This year I won an electric guitar and acquired a much better acoustic guitar and intend to get my friends who play to teach me something decent to play by the 14^th of October

28.    Be married for longer than 20 years: I recognise this is a major achievement and applaud my parents and grandparents for exceeding this target by some distance (my parents are on 31 and my grandparents on something like 67 years of marriage). However, I think marriage is stupid. So this is one that I really doubt I’m even going to attempt.

29.    Save money for your grandchildren to enjoy: With no desire to procreate or get married and a proclivity for spending more than I save, I really doubt I can make this one. Seems a bit contradictory to number 10 though…

30.    Start a family: See 28 and 29 for reasons why this will not be happening

31.    Earn more money than your age: I assume this means my age with a few zeros next to it. Already doing that

32.    Have a pet: I really want a dog but I need a different lifestyle. On the cards for that pre-35^th bucket-list

33.    Drive a really fast car: This has always been on my list. A fast car on the Nurburgring racing circuit or just any German autobahns. I need to get a valid UK license first. This will definitely be on my pre-35^th bucket-list

34.    Travel alone: Already done Delhi and Amsterdam by myself. Didn’t like being alone so much. Glad I don’t have this one to tick again

35.    Keep children on the straight and narrow: Don’t like kids. Don’t like getting involved with other people’s kids. However I do like mentoring and where my advice is sought, would certainly keep them on the straight and narrow

36.    Meet strangers: I meet them all the time and I generally don’t like them. I met one recently. And I talked to her

37.    Move away from home to an unfamiliar place: Did that when I moved from Lagos to London and to a lesser degree when I went to Benin to do my undergraduate degree. I also moved to Manchester for 15 months for my internship and would love to live in Bologna for a few months.

38.    Have a one-night stand: Even though I’m not a fan of these, I have had one. It was great

39.    Pass your driving test: I’ve taken one and failed. Hopefully I’ll pass the next one

40.    Get a degree: Check! Now working on my master’s and hopefully a PHD after that so I’ll have three degrees!

41.    Rescue someone so you’re a hero for a while: I’d like to think that some of the things I’ve done for my friends have amounted to rescuing them. With my lack of interest in strangers and inability to climb, swim or do anything helpful like hat I can’t say I see this being on the cards anytime soon

42.    Date someone exciting but completely wrong: I think I’ve done this once or twice and it was very exciting

43.    Get a promotion: I’ve had two

44.    Reach your career peak by 40: Considering I’m just trying to switch career this might be a big ask. No harm in trying though

45.    Have an all-night drinking session: I believe that my first night of drinking ever was an all-night drinking session with my cousin. We got rather drunk. I also went to New York with this same cousin and I don’t remember how we got back to our hotel. The biggest claim to completion of this though is my first Christmas as a worker when I drank from 11am on a Friday till 4am on a Sunday. It ended very badly

46.    Perform something on stage in front of others: I played Jesus in a school play as a 5 year old, did some modelling for my uncle’s fashion show as a 9 year old and love karaoke

47.    Snog a stranger: My very first snog stranger was with an Irish lad. I forget whether it was in London or Manchester. I’ve had a few more but don’t like to make a habit of it.

48.    Plan a surprise party: To be done

49.    Embark on adrenaline-packed activities such as bungee jumping: Did Go-Ape. Was scared to death because it turns out I have a rather serious fear of heights. Until I sort this out, by going on another Go-Ape day and confronting my fears, I will have to pass on other height-based adrenaline-packed activities

50.     Keep young by spending time with children: Don’t like children but I do spend time with young people. That should do

Summary

I’ve ticked thirty-three things off this list, think I can tick another thirteen off by the time I should or before I turn 35 and only have four I don’t think I can or should bother with. If I do say so myself, I’m living life pretty well then

Feeling Good

I have been actively trying to lose weight since 2007. I was a really active teenager and youth (referring to my early 20s). My parents were pretty strict about spending time outside the house so sports were my excuse to stay at school longer and I played everything from football and basketball to field events that I sucked at like shot put. When I got into university I was working so many hours (mostly at McDonald’s) and studying so much that there was nothing for my body to do but burn fat regardless of how much I ate. And I ate quite a lot. In 2005 – 2006 I had an emotionally abusive boyfriend and hit the lowest point of happiness in my life. For the first, and only time, I lost my appetite for quite a while and I lost a lot of weight – I was just a size 12 to start with but I went down to almost a 10 and that’s pretty skinny for my frame.

I broke up with him, moved on and got my appetite back. I also got a very sedentary job providing technical support for a broadband provider. I worked long hours and carried on eating at the same rate as I always had and slowly I put on the pounds. By my graduation day in 2007, when I wanted to buy an outfit I realised that I couldn’t fit into any of the Topshop trousers anymore – they only went up to a small 14 and I was a big 14 – and I bought three of them with the intention to fit into them by the winter of that year. I started work for an IT consultancy and landed a project on an out of town project and spent two and a half years living in hotels, eating at restaurants and drinking a significantly higher amount of alcohol than I had ever done. Unlike my more health-conscious colleagues I didn’t utilise the free gym access we were entitled to and football once a week did not negate all the calories I consumed no matter how vigorous the sessions were. My next project was even worse. I wound up on a project where I couldn’t even play football and I ate a lot of burgers and ribs but didn’t go to the gym much. The worst spell was 6 months in Dublin with zero social life and a lot of Chinese and fried chicken meals. I think in the 6 months I was in Ireland I didn’t do any sport there and when I was in London I negated the benefits of Sunday football by immediately consuming several alcoholic beverages in the pub afterwards.

In 6 years I lost weight thrice. In the autumn of 2008 I wanted to visit my health conscious cousin in DC and thought it wouldn’t do to turn up too fat. I ate very little and went to the gym 6 days a week and lost about 12lbs in three weeks so I looked pretty good but still didn’t fit into those trousers. I coined operation 22 then because I figured I needed to lose 22lbs to get to my target size. In February 2011 my friend went on a low GI diet and I decided to join in. I lost about 12lbs again and looked relatively good again but by this time I was so overweight that I really needed to lose about 33lbs to even have a chance of meeting my target. At the end of 2011 I split up with someone and thought stupidly that I could win them back by losing weight so I started watching what I ate and doing a bit more exercise – walking loads, climbing escalators instead of getting the stairs, running – and even decided to cut out alcohol. Again I lost some weight but at about 12lbs when it became noticeable and I didn’t win my lover back, I kinda gave up. By March this year when I was rounding up in Dublin I hit a low point and actually had to buy lots of size 18 clothes because nothing I owned would fit anymore. This was when I started to think I had to make a complete lifestyle change but I was too lazy to actually follow through completely.

I turned up for my sister’s wedding in April a bit slimmer but still wearing the size 18 clothes and slipped back into my old routines that meant I hovered around the same weight for a couple of months. Then I got dumped. Well we split up mutually but the thought of getting back on the dating scene meant that I was I felt a strong desire to take ownership of my weight. I decided that since I can’t maintain any sort of diet for a decent length of time, I was going to have to resort to the simple equation of burning more calories than I eat. My friend and I set our goals on June 4^th. I decided I wanted to lose between 12 and 15kg by October 4^th and I wanted to do it reasonably. I kept a food diary, only ate when I was hungry – with the occasional binge – didn’t cut out alcohol but tried to be reasonable about drinking and started playing 2 sessions of badminton and 2 sessions of football every week. I started cycling to football on Sundays too. In July I started cycling to work a couple of times a week and added another football game a week. Now I cycle to most places and have kept up with the football and badminton sessions. I do a 30 minute brisk walk for lunch almost every day too and have mostly kept the eating under control. It’s about 6 weeks before my deadline and I’ve lost about 10kg. I feel great because I’m totally within my comfort zone and can sustain this lifestyle (less activity will be required to maintain this weight in the winter months) forever. I also ran a 10k race and have taken to cycling 25 miles on a Wednesday to get to my football game and back. I hope I can meet my target but even if I don’t, the good news is that I’m about half an inch away from fitting perfectly into trousers that I previously couldn’t get to do up. That’s good enough for me.

Most people have said to me over the last few years that I look great and I’ve always commented that I know this but I’ve been slimmer and know I could look better. I’m glad I finally found a way to make it happen.