Oops!! I did it again

I like to think of myself as absent minded or eccentric or sometimes even a borderline genius – no I’m not egoistic, it’s so I can understand how the things that happen to me happen to me. This morning I spent 20 minutes trying to find my house keys. Normal people get locked out of their homes. This is the second time that I had managed to lock myself in. I’ve been setting my alarm for half 6 so that I can get the bus to work at 7.30 thus arriving well in time for my 9.00 start. So far, I’ve never actually woken up at that time, I tend to snooze till 7.30 and leave about 45 minutes to get ready.

Invariably at 8.15 I am in a rush to leave as there’s a fine line between arriving at 9.00 or 9.15 and invariably I spend 5 minutes or so looking for something. Yesterday morning it was my travel card, Monday it was my ID card. I usually try to circumvent my natural carelessness by putting things in specific locations. For example, my travel card goes in my left coat pocket with my keys, my phone in the right pocket, my ID card on my neck or in the side pocket of my handbag. Obviously I haven’t been following this ethos recently hence the morning searches.

To cut the story short, I eventually found the damn thing under my newspaper because I had dropped the newspaper and bags by the sofa once I got home. I was in a rush to eat because I was starving. The funniest thing was that I saw the paper as I was getting ready to leave and thought “I am too much in a rush to put that in the recycling bag”. If only I’d known that I would get to work half an hour late, I would have picked the damn thing up!

Klutz-like things I’ve done recently:

·         Forgot my laptops in a taxi – fortunately got them back because the receptionist had seen the company number on the taxi

·         Forgot my suitcase on a train – after much worry that they would destroy it I eventually tracked it down at the station the train terminated at.

·         Left my mobile phone on a train – fortunately I remembered right after the train left and advised the station manager about my seat number and phone details

·         Walked to the station with my dress in my tights – the horror! Fortunately I had on a long coat that day so my blushes were spared

·         Forgot what my colleague looked like and introduced myself to the new woman standing by my desk. In my defence I had only met her a few times and she changed her hair.

·         A family friend/general acquaintance introduces herself to me. I launch into a long spiel about how I know her and had seen her mother and sister recently. She replies “Nope, that’s not me. You’re confusing me with Ada”

·         Called my friend excitedly to wish her happy birthday – I was excited because I am notoriously bad at remembering birthdays. She was delighted I’d called but reminded me that her birthday had actually been 5 days prior.

·         Went shopping with my friend. We happened to walk past a display of pills that were advertised as helping to flatten the stomach. I turn to my friend and say “what sort of idiot would believe this nonsense?” to which she responded “erm...that’s what I came to purchase”. Talk about foot-in-mouth disease.

·         Missed my flight home from the US – I had a departure time in my head and despite walking around with my ticket in my bag for 5 weeks and even being told by my brother that he couldn’t check me in for a flight at the time I specified (I responded there must be something wrong with the website and I’d check in when I got there, I turned up 2 hours after my flight had left.

·         Turned up 12 hours early for my flight to India – I read the arrival time as the departure time

·         Spent 15 minutes searching for my glasses until my friend asked me what I was looking for and pointed out that it was on my face – I still can’t explain this one

It’s always funny after the fact and now I’ve written them down I think I’m a pretty lucky girl.

I am afraid of...

Rats, mice, rodents: I recently went to India and was privileged to be invited to the University of Punjab – India’s top research university. As part of the tour I was taken to the “animal home” where all the animals used for testing are kept. I saw a few cute monkeys and suddenly we were in a room with a million albino mice. I felt physically ill. I was absolutely horrified when I was asked to touch one. So yeah, I’m the girl who jumps on a chair screaming at the first sight of a rat/mouse. I once watched an episode of I’m a celebrity, get me out of here where one of the contestants had to be lowered into a box or something and thousands of rats were let into the confined space. I almost died. I totally had to switch channels.

Failure:  This is a big one for me. I do not like failing. I know that people say that you cannot win if you do not try and that it is better to fail than to fail to try. I don’t buy any of that! I feel wretched when I know that I made an effort at something and then failed to achieve it.

Height: This has got worse as I’ve grown older. I remember climbing everything as a kid but I don’t do as much anymore. I’m fine inside tall buildings or with heights where I’m protected. I think that my fear of heights is only linked to a fear of death. So if I feel like there is no way I can fall off, I’m fine. If the railings/guard is not up to half my height then I believe I could fall off, I don’t stand on unprotected ledges and I was very much against climbing the near vertical steps in Wat Arun on a recent visit to Bangkok.

Death: This is probably my top fear because it directly affects all my other fears except failure. I didn’t learn to do a back flip because I was convinced I’d die from a broken neck. I started being afraid of rats because my primary school teacher told me they cause cancer. I don’t go to hospitals if I can help it because I don’t want to hear “terminal”. I lost interest in sky-diving because there was one week in 2003/2004 when 4 people died doing it. I know I shouldn’t be so silly but I really can’t help it.

Financial dependence: I cannot bear the thought of not being financially self-sufficient. I got my first job at about 16 - almost unheard of at the time for Nigeria (only people who need to work at that age typically) - because I always hated asking for an allowance. I am not rich and I am very simple. I live in a decent area of London, I go out a few times a week, I travel a few times a year and I’m happy that way. The thought of being unable (for any reason) to maintain the status quo by myself frightens the heck out of me. I think perhaps it's a way of ceding control but I can't say I fear a lack of control because I'm fine with that IF AND ONLY IF it's on my own terms.

Snakes: This is part fear, part intense disgust. Snakes can kill you, so of course that makes me afraid of them but I also can’t stand the way they slither (same goes for worms, centipedes and other creepy crawlies) I remember once I found skin that had been shed by a python in the backyard of my late grandmother’s house. I refused to go to outside unaccompanied for the rest of that trip. I’m always baffled that people that want to hold snakes or even visit them at the zoo. Crazy! As for my ill-advised viewing of Snakes on a Plane, let’s just say that I saw about 25% of the movie. I had my head in my hands for most of it.

What are you afraid of?

Audit: 2010

I meant to do this on the 31st to see out 2010 and ring in 2011 but I guess it actually works now since 2010 is well and truly over. So here goes, my official review of 2010:

1.       What did you do in 2010 that you had never done before? Even though it feels like there were a million things, the one that stands out has to be I travelled by myself. I spent 4 days in Agra and Delhi totally by myself. I don’t think I like solo travel.

2.       Did you keep your New Year resolutions and will you make more for this year? Well I made some that I promptly forgot so I guess I didn’t keep them. I’m making some for this year and I hope that at this time next year I’ll be feeling smug because I kept them all

3.       Did anyone close to you give birth? I guess the interpretation of close is fairly loose here but there were a lot of births. My cousin Amara had a baby, my friends Ada and Kpoms had babies too.

4.       Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully not!

5.       What countries did you visit? Italy, US, Thailand, and India

6.       What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn’t have in 2010? Savings – like proper long term savings

7.       What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why? I’m not terribly good with dates. I remember key events from last year but it would take an awful lot of digging to reconcile them with the dates

8.       What was your biggest achievement of this year? Getting promoted in March

9.       What was your biggest failure? Not getting a transfer that I applied for. It might be sour grapes now that I think I didn’t really want it but at the time I felt like a massive failure.

10.   Did you suffer illness or injury? From a seriously wimpy perspective, yes. I had crazy stomach issues, chronic lower back pain and a recurring injury to my medial ligament

11.   What was the best thing you bought? Ahhh, there’s some serious competition between my Blackberry and my iPhone 4. However, I have to say the BB. It literally saved some of my closest friendships from dying.

12.   Whose behaviour merited celebration? My parents were absolutely awesome and amazing. I finally understand unconditional love.

13.   Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? I don’t know anyone whose behaviour could depress me and I guess no one (other than politicians and public figures) appalled me last year.

14.   Where did most of your money go? Other than bills, I guess it was travel

15.   What did you get really excited about? Lots and lots of stuff - visiting Asia for the first time, Miami, my friend’s wedding, the most awesome work party ever are just a few

16.   What song will always remind you of 2010? This is so easy since I already covered it here. Tie My Hands by Lil Wayne.

17.   Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Fatter and richer. The happiness thing is a little trickier. If I think about January 1st 2010 alone then I’d have to say that I’m definitely happier today because I flew back to London from Nigeria on that day. Having thought about it a bit more now I think it’s safe to say that I’m happier now. I spent the last day of 2010 with one of my favourite people in the world and my forecast for 2011 is sunny and bright.

18.   What do you wish you’d done more of? Followed through with my plans

19.   What do you wish you’d done less of? Sat on my arse and procrastinated

20.   How did you spend Christmas? With two of my siblings at home.

21.   Did you fall in love in 2010? Nope

22.   What was your favorite TV program? Mad Men

23.   What was the best book you read? Oh, this is really tough. There are a few books that stand out and I’ve never been able to pick out a favourite thing – like ever. I know I’ll probably revisit this when I’ve had a chance to check the deep recesses of my brain for the awesome books I read last year but right now I’ll go with Brooklyn by Colm Toibin.

24.   What was your greatest musical discovery? Florence and the machine. “Lungs” is so amazing!

25.   What did you want and get? A promotion

26.   What did you want and not get? A transfer

27.   What was your favorite film of 2010? Oh boy! Another tough one. I really liked Inception. Kick Ass was seriously memorable. I’ll go with The Kids Are All Right though. I saw it in cinema three times!

28.   What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 27 and I went out with 3 of the coolest girls on the planet. It was a great birthday.

29.   What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Probably loving a guy who loved me back.

30.   How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010? Evolving. I’m neither stylish nor fashionable but I made some effort in 2010.

31.   What kept you sane? Music

32.   What political issue stirred you the most? I don’t know if I’m allowed to say it was the healthcare reforms issue in the US. Is that political? I don’t even know.

33.   Who did you miss? A lot of my friends are far away from me and I miss them all the time.

34.   Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. That much as I love to live in the now, it’s probably best to think about the future a little more.

35.   Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. This is super tough because I’m not really a lyrics girl and it will probably take hours into days into weeks and maybe months for me to figure out a lyric to sum up my year. I’ll update the post once I figure it out though.

So that’s it for 2010. It wasn’t the best year of my life so far but it was a pretty good one.