I like to think of myself as absent minded or eccentric or sometimes even a borderline genius – no I’m not egoistic, it’s so I can understand how the things that happen to me happen to me. This morning I spent 20 minutes trying to find my house keys. Normal people get locked out of their homes. This is the second time that I had managed to lock myself in. I’ve been setting my alarm for half 6 so that I can get the bus to work at 7.30 thus arriving well in time for my 9.00 start. So far, I’ve never actually woken up at that time, I tend to snooze till 7.30 and leave about 45 minutes to get ready.
Invariably at 8.15 I am in a rush to leave as there’s a fine line between arriving at 9.00 or 9.15 and invariably I spend 5 minutes or so looking for something. Yesterday morning it was my travel card, Monday it was my ID card. I usually try to circumvent my natural carelessness by putting things in specific locations. For example, my travel card goes in my left coat pocket with my keys, my phone in the right pocket, my ID card on my neck or in the side pocket of my handbag. Obviously I haven’t been following this ethos recently hence the morning searches.
To cut the story short, I eventually found the damn thing under my newspaper because I had dropped the newspaper and bags by the sofa once I got home. I was in a rush to eat because I was starving. The funniest thing was that I saw the paper as I was getting ready to leave and thought “I am too much in a rush to put that in the recycling bag”. If only I’d known that I would get to work half an hour late, I would have picked the damn thing up!
Klutz-like things I’ve done recently:
· Forgot my laptops in a taxi – fortunately got them back because the receptionist had seen the company number on the taxi
· Forgot my suitcase on a train – after much worry that they would destroy it I eventually tracked it down at the station the train terminated at.
· Left my mobile phone on a train – fortunately I remembered right after the train left and advised the station manager about my seat number and phone details
· Walked to the station with my dress in my tights – the horror! Fortunately I had on a long coat that day so my blushes were spared
· Forgot what my colleague looked like and introduced myself to the new woman standing by my desk. In my defence I had only met her a few times and she changed her hair.
· A family friend/general acquaintance introduces herself to me. I launch into a long spiel about how I know her and had seen her mother and sister recently. She replies “Nope, that’s not me. You’re confusing me with Ada”
· Called my friend excitedly to wish her happy birthday – I was excited because I am notoriously bad at remembering birthdays. She was delighted I’d called but reminded me that her birthday had actually been 5 days prior.
· Went shopping with my friend. We happened to walk past a display of pills that were advertised as helping to flatten the stomach. I turn to my friend and say “what sort of idiot would believe this nonsense?” to which she responded “erm...that’s what I came to purchase”. Talk about foot-in-mouth disease.
· Missed my flight home from the US – I had a departure time in my head and despite walking around with my ticket in my bag for 5 weeks and even being told by my brother that he couldn’t check me in for a flight at the time I specified (I responded there must be something wrong with the website and I’d check in when I got there, I turned up 2 hours after my flight had left.
· Turned up 12 hours early for my flight to India – I read the arrival time as the departure time
· Spent 15 minutes searching for my glasses until my friend asked me what I was looking for and pointed out that it was on my face – I still can’t explain this one
It’s always funny after the fact and now I’ve written them down I think I’m a pretty lucky girl.
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