Rats, mice, rodents: I recently went to India and was privileged to be invited to the University of Punjab – India’s top research university. As part of the tour I was taken to the “animal home” where all the animals used for testing are kept. I saw a few cute monkeys and suddenly we were in a room with a million albino mice. I felt physically ill. I was absolutely horrified when I was asked to touch one. So yeah, I’m the girl who jumps on a chair screaming at the first sight of a rat/mouse. I once watched an episode of I’m a celebrity, get me out of here where one of the contestants had to be lowered into a box or something and thousands of rats were let into the confined space. I almost died. I totally had to switch channels.
Failure: This is a big one for me. I do not like failing. I know that people say that you cannot win if you do not try and that it is better to fail than to fail to try. I don’t buy any of that! I feel wretched when I know that I made an effort at something and then failed to achieve it.
Height: This has got worse as I’ve grown older. I remember climbing everything as a kid but I don’t do as much anymore. I’m fine inside tall buildings or with heights where I’m protected. I think that my fear of heights is only linked to a fear of death. So if I feel like there is no way I can fall off, I’m fine. If the railings/guard is not up to half my height then I believe I could fall off, I don’t stand on unprotected ledges and I was very much against climbing the near vertical steps in Wat Arun on a recent visit to Bangkok.
Death: This is probably my top fear because it directly affects all my other fears except failure. I didn’t learn to do a back flip because I was convinced I’d die from a broken neck. I started being afraid of rats because my primary school teacher told me they cause cancer. I don’t go to hospitals if I can help it because I don’t want to hear “terminal”. I lost interest in sky-diving because there was one week in 2003/2004 when 4 people died doing it. I know I shouldn’t be so silly but I really can’t help it.
Financial dependence: I cannot bear the thought of not being financially self-sufficient. I got my first job at about 16 - almost unheard of at the time for Nigeria (only people who need to work at that age typically) - because I always hated asking for an allowance. I am not rich and I am very simple. I live in a decent area of London, I go out a few times a week, I travel a few times a year and I’m happy that way. The thought of being unable (for any reason) to maintain the status quo by myself frightens the heck out of me. I think perhaps it's a way of ceding control but I can't say I fear a lack of control because I'm fine with that IF AND ONLY IF it's on my own terms.
Snakes: This is part fear, part intense disgust. Snakes can kill you, so of course that makes me afraid of them but I also can’t stand the way they slither (same goes for worms, centipedes and other creepy crawlies) I remember once I found skin that had been shed by a python in the backyard of my late grandmother’s house. I refused to go to outside unaccompanied for the rest of that trip. I’m always baffled that people that want to hold snakes or even visit them at the zoo. Crazy! As for my ill-advised viewing of Snakes on a Plane, let’s just say that I saw about 25% of the movie. I had my head in my hands for most of it.
What are you afraid of?
Laugh out loud!
ReplyDeleteAre we twins or what? I hate failure because I hate having to admit that I tried my hand at something and did not do well at it, I'd much rather not try at all or best still do very well at things I put very minimum effort into.
As for rodentas and mice I wouldnt say I'm afraid of them but in general I think animals are dirty, that goes for horses and dogs too. Unless I see positive proof that said animals are washed on the regular I shall not lay my bare skin on them(Obviously riding horses and camels isnt the same thing)
I also have an unprecedented fear of abandonment.I dont know the origin or the cure.